~Jokes~

Serg_w

Serg_w

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~Jokes~

If you know a funny joke post it.

Here is mine...

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy.

\"Can I touch it?\", she said.

The Boy Replied, \"No way -- you already broke yours off!\"
 
The Poopie List

*The Poopie List*
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet.

CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper.

WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between your butt and your underwear so you won\'t ruin them with stains.

SECOND WAVE POOPIE: This happens when you\'re done poopie-ing and you\'ve pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that you have to poopie some more.

POP-A VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD POOPIE: The kind where you strain so much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.

LINCOLN LOG POOPIE: The kind of poopie that is so huge you\'re afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces with the toilet brush.

GASSY POOPIE: It\'s so noisy, that everyone within earshot is giggling.

DRINKER\'S POOPIE: The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It\'s most noticeable trait is the skid marks on the bottom of the toilet.

CORN POOPIE: Self explanatory.

GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-POOPIE POOPIE: The kind where you want to poopie but all you do is sit on the toilet and fart a few times.

SPINAL TAP POOPIE: That\'s where it hurts so badly coming out, you\'d swear it was leaving you sideways.

WET CHEEKS POOPIE (The Power Dump): The kind that comes out so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.

THE DANGLING POOPIE: This poopie refuses to drop in the toilet even though you are done poopie-ing it. You just hope that a shake or two will cut it loose.

THE SURPRISE POOPIE: You\'re not even at the toilet because you are sure you are about to fart, but *oops* --- a poopie!
 
21 Things You Wish You Could Say At Work



1. I can see your point, but I still think you\'re full of it.

2. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don\'t care.

3. It sounds like English, but I can\'t understand a word.

4. I see you\'ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. Ahh, I see the screw up fairy has visited again.

6. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

7. I\'m already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

8. The fact that no one understands you doesn\'t mean you\'re an artist.

9. Someday we\'ll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

11. I don\'t know what your problem is, but I\'ll bet it\'s hard to pronounce.

12. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

13. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

14. I am going home to get some more donuts! Be back tomorrow!

15. I\'m not being rude. You\'re just insignifigant.

16. Thank you. We\'re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. It\'s a thankless job, but I\'ve got Karma to burn off.

18. No, my powers can be used only for good.

19. I\'m really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me.

20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

21. How about \"never\"? Is \"never\" good for you?
 
*Blonde Joke*

THE DIET

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. \"I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you\'ll have lost at least five pounds.\" When the blonde returns, she\'s lost nearly 20 pounds. \"Why, that\'s amazing!\" the doctor says. \"Did you follow my instructions?\" The blonde nods. \"I\'ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.\" \"From hunger, you mean?\" asked the doctor. \"No, from skipping.\"
 
*Blonde Joke*

NO BRAINER

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice, and landed on \"Science & Nature.\" Her question was, \"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?\" She thought for a time and then asked, \"Is it on or off?\"
 
*Blonde Joke*

geeky_girl_sm_clr.gif
 
*Blonde Joke*

geeky_girl_sm_clr.gif


SPACEY

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian bragged, \"We were the first in space!\" The American retorted, \"We were the first on the moon!\" The Blonde said, \"So what, we\'re going to be the first on the sun!\" The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. \"You can\'t land on the sun, you fool. You\'ll burn up!\" said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, \"We\'re not stupid, you know. We\'re going at night!\"
 
*Blonde Joke*

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding, and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. Huffily, she replied, \"I wish you guys would make up your mind. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!\"
 
Why do farts smell?


So deaf people can enjoy them too
 
Well, I\'m new here, but that last set of jokes is a bit inflammatory, don\'t you think?
 
Just to keep the ball bouncing.:)

What type of bees produce milk.... not honey?

BOOBEES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahahaha
 
A woman walks into a New York bank one day and asks the teller for a $5,000 loan. The teller says \"all right, but we will need some collateral.\" The woman replies\"How about my new Rolls Royce? \" The teller agrees, and parks the rolls in the banks garage. After the woman leaves, the bankers all laugh, astonished that someone would use a 50,000 car as collateral for a 5,000 loan. Two weeks later, the woman returns to the bank.
The teller hands her the keys and says, \"Why would you need a 5,000 loan for two weeks when you are obviously rich?\" The woman smiles and says, \"Where else in New york can I park my car for 2 weeks and expect it to be there when I return?\":tongue:
 
Originally posted by SonicMethod
Originally posted by misterjim
Well, I\'m new here, but that last set of jokes is a bit inflammatory, don\'t you think?
Click to expand...

Post had been edited, and ddly i KNOW you weren\'t trying to be racist but still...
Click to expand...

:shock::(:thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::thumbdown::(:(:(:(







:tongue:
i dont care..they were jokes
 
but ya dont wanna be rascist...I didnt even see (hear?) the jokes tho...so ill shut up
 
I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said \"Got any shoes you\'re not using?\".
 
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