Catp00p
Design Ninja!
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2002
- Messages
- 966
- Reaction score
- 1
- Points
- 0
- Age
- 51
- Location
- Tampa, FL
- Website
- www.digitalxsystems.com
Great Quotes.
Feel free to use these in your sig if you want. I won't sue you. I may come over and jab an icepick in your ear... but you don't have to worry about court.
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb."
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
"When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids." Does this mean that the other three enjoy it?
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Feel free to use these in your sig if you want. I won't sue you. I may come over and jab an icepick in your ear... but you don't have to worry about court.
"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."
"I can resist everything except temptation."
"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
"Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash."
"Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff."
"I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my thumb."
"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members."
"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy."
"The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less."
"I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals, I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants."
"You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'."
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
"The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you."
"When you cook it should be an act of love. To put a frozen bag in the microwave for your child is an act of hate."
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true. I have the heart of a young boy -- in a jar on my desk."
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
"Seven out of ten people suffer from hemmorhoids." Does this mean that the other three enjoy it?
"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often."
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
