HeXDeMoN
The Lord of Darkness
FUnny cyber sex coversations
credit goes to mw | genocide from midwestlanparty
.Read these all teh way through, you'll laugh your ass off!!!
You guys like cybering? I do, here's an example
J-Dogg: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears27: Aight.
J-Dogg: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27: I slip out of my pants, just for you, J-Dogg.
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27: Funny I still don't see it.
J-Dogg: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
J-Dogg: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
J-Dogg: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sexysusan: Thats ok. Ok I'm a japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
J-Dogg: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
sexysusan: Haha, ok lets go.
sexysusan: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
J-Dogg: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexysusan: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexysusan: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't were shirts.
sexysusan: No, your not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
J-Dogg: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexysusan: Thats it.
J-Dogg: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
J-Dogg: Goddam am I hard now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dik puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?
J-Dogg: What like gardening an shiat?
Katey69: Yeah, something like that.
J-Dogg: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
J-Dogg: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katey69: is that it?
J-Dogg: You water your tomato patch.
J-Dogg: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
J-Dogg: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
J-Dogg: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
J-Dogg: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
J-Dogg: Damn baby your right, this shiat is HOT.
Katey69...
J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katey69: whatever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G-Love: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears27: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears27: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
G-Love: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
G-Love: Oh shiat
BritneySpears27: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
G-Love: Oh shiat
G-Love: damn I gotta write down their names or something...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Mandy4u26: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Mandy4u26: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Mandy4u26: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Mandy4u26: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J-dogg:Your pretty funny
DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx
J-dogg:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
J-dogg: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
J-dogg:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
J-dogg:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
J-dogg:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
DirtyKate:Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg:I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg:How did you know?
J-dogg:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:wtf?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyKate:Fuk
credit goes to mw | genocide from midwestlanparty
.Read these all teh way through, you'll laugh your ass off!!!
You guys like cybering? I do, here's an example
J-Dogg: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears27: Aight.
J-Dogg: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears27: I slip out of my pants, just for you, J-Dogg.
J-Dogg: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: Oh, I like to play dress up.
J-Dogg: Me too baby.
BritneySpears27: I kiss you softly on your chest.
J-Dogg: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears27: Hey...
J-Dogg: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears27: Funny I still don't see it.
J-Dogg: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty Fuk of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears27: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
J-Dogg: Don't fuk with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
J-Dogg: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears27: Don't ever message me again you piece of shiat.
J-Dogg: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.
J-Dogg: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
J-Dogg: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
J-Dogg: Baby?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
sexysusan: Thats ok. Ok I'm a japanese schoolgirl, what are you.
J-Dogg: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.
sexysusan: Haha, ok lets go.
sexysusan: I put my hand through your hair, and kiss you on the neck.
J-Dogg: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.
sexysusan: Haha, ok, you know that turns me on.
sexysusan: I start unbuttoning your shirt.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't were shirts.
sexysusan: No, your not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.
J-Dogg: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They fuking charge your ass.
sexysusan: Stop, c'mon be serious.
J-Dogg: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.
J-Dogg: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.
sexysusan: Thats it.
J-Dogg: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.
J-Dogg: Goddam am I hard now.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
QT-Pie:Hey
Jdogg:whats goin on
QT-Pie:Nothing. Who are you?
Jdogg:Jdogg. Wanna cyber?
QT-Pie:what does that mean?
Jdogg:what are you wearing?
QT-Pie:T-shirt. Jeans.
Jdogg:Garter belt?
QT-Pie:Ummm...no.
Jdogg:Are we gonna cyber or not?
QT-Pie: uh, okay.
Jdogg:Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.
Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your stink from here.
QT-Pie: WHAT?!
Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.
Jdogg:You leave everything to jdogg.
Jdogg:I am completely inside of you. You are my dik puppet. I put on a little play.
QT-Pie:This is weird. I should go.
Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Katey69: Sure, you into vegetables?
J-Dogg: What like gardening an shiat?
Katey69: Yeah, something like that.
J-Dogg: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
J-Dogg: You bend over to harvest your radishes.
(pause)
Katey69: is that it?
J-Dogg: You water your tomato patch.
J-Dogg: Are you ready for my fresh produce?
Katey69: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
(pause)
J-Dogg: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
J-Dogg: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
Katey69: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
J-Dogg: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
J-Dogg: Damn baby your right, this shiat is HOT.
Katey69...
J-Dogg: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
Katey69: What the fart is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
J-Dogg: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.
Katey69: whatever.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
G-Love: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears27: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears27: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
G-Love: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears27: WTF, I told you not to message me again.
G-Love: Oh shiat
BritneySpears27: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me fuking kiddie porn you fuk up.
G-Love: Oh shiat
G-Love: damn I gotta write down their names or something...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mandy4u26: Yeah I'm here.
J-Dogg: You ready?
Mandy4u26: Okay.
J-Dogg: I take off my trenchcoat I'm nekked beneath, with pistols on my belt.
Mandy4u26: Cowboy boots?
J-Dogg: WWI era trench issue boots.
Mandy4u26: okay...
J-Dogg: Help me pull my boots off baby.
Mandy4u26: Whats that smell?
J-Dogg: Rotting toes.
Mandy4u26: Ummm...
J-Dogg: My boots pop off. My feet are black. The toes crumble off with the slightest touch. The dead black tissue that was once my skin chips off in large crispy flakes. A smell of death pervades the room. Gangrenous pus drips from the ends of the stumps where my toes were. I look deep in your eyes, and shove my tongue down your throat.
Mandy4u26: ...
J-Dogg: You carress my ass, and trim my pubes...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
J-dogg:Your pretty funny
DirtyKate:I don't remember you.. but thanx
J-dogg:Wanna cyber?
DirtyKate:OK, but don't tell anybody (wink)
DirtyKate:Who are you?
J-dogg: I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot.
J-dogg:And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's
DirtyKate:You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
J-dogg:Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
DirtyKate: Haha! OK
DirtyKate:Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
J-dogg:Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
DirtyKate:I want everything, baby!
J-dogg:Is this a delivery?
DirtyKate:Umm...Yes
DirtyKate:So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
J-dogg:Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
DirtyKate:Jdogg, I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
J-dogg:You can't hurry good pizza.
J-dogg:I'm on my way now though
DirtyKate:So you're at my front door now.
J-dogg:How did you know?
J-dogg:I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
J-dogg:Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
DirtyKate:Oooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
J-dogg:So you're still in the bathroom?
DirtyKate:Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
J-dogg:I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
DirtyKate:wtf?
DirtyKate:You perverted piece of shiat
DirtyKate:Fuk
