Do you have a problem?

Sonic X said:
Dear Finch,


Why does your advice suck? And what should i do if undead people come to my house?

Signed: Freaky Administrator of NGG.
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My advice does not have lips so it can't suck.

Question two. Offer them some candy. If they say "No!" punch them in the nuts and make them dead.
 
SnakeByte said:
Dear Finch
These squirrels keep coming in through my window at night, but my room gets really warmso I must open them. What can I do?
-Anonomous
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Keep the zipper on your pants unlocked. Trust me, squirrels may look mean, but when they see an exposed crotch, they can be quite friendly. BTW, you might want to keep the bed room door opened as well. This will allow bears, goats and even old people easy access to your genitals.
 
HeXDeMoN said:
Dear Dr.Finch . i have me some hairy nipples. not on the nipple just around the arios*i can't spell but it's the brown shit * is that normal? also 1 of the hairs is like 4 inch's long and the others are 1 inch. ok on to my next problem. there's this girl i liked for 5 years. last year i told her i liked her and i called her couple times but she was always busy ;( . this year i told her i liked her still and i picked her up a couple times and made out with her *felt her nice ass to* but after 5 days she said we should just be friends. should i try next year to and expect to get 1 step further??? danke in advance
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I had to get some advice from Akuma on this one. He says to take your crap stained nipples to boot camp. And you know what? I agree with him. As for the hair, just leave it the way it is. Long nipple hair will be a fad this coming winter season, just you wait and see.

Ok, on to the next question. I'm thinking that the whole "felt her ass thing" was the reason for her wanting to be friends. Damn, how far did you stick your fingers, dude? Anyways, yeah, try again next year....and for god's sake, keep your fingers up your own rectum the next time you go to the movies.
 
pukka said:
Dear Mrs manners,
I was at the pharmacists yesterday when this guy says to me he says, "you smell funny". this got me thinking. Do i smell funny? Is it an unpleasant smell? what were these "Anti-pepsi ants" the pharmacist so desperately tried to give me? it looked like spray-paint or something.
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No, that stench radiating off your crusty exterior does not stink. Natural body odor is quite pleasant actually. The person smelling you was really just trying to make out with you. Next time, don't be so suspicious. Offer the punk a leg and let him hump it, while you finish your shopping.
As for the Ant-pepsi ants....they're just ants who prefer coke.



Originally posted by Public Enemy
Yeah, I'm sexy! So sue me!
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Don't worry, I plan to. You're not going to jump into my thread acting all sexy and shit. :sad:
 
"He says to take your crap stained nipples to boot camp"

never thought of them as crap stained ;( *cries in bed*
 
Everytime I look at Frenchy's picture I want to bat ppl in the face... What should I do?
 
Vicman said:
Everytime I look at Frenchy's picture I want to bat ppl in the face... What should I do?
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You suffer from a condition known as LR, ( "Lover's Rage" )
You are soooo in love with his woman, that you feel the only way to relieve your blue balls is to become violent towards others. There is a simple solution. Grab some lotion, a copy of Rosie’s old mag, and whack it until your hands are sore. Hopefully by then, every time you look at this lovely woman, (ie, Frenchy) only flowers, such as sweet smelling roses, will be on your mind.


PS....jerk face.
 
Nice job Dr. Finch this guy is great. He got his own show 'N all. Sky seriously for a minute u said u didn't want anything in return, lol when do you ever want something in return, no not with the ladies. Like here. You help people, and your just that great guy that suffers the LR, of course, but very cool. :D
 
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