Catp00p's Company Harrasment Thread

Catp00p

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Catp00p's Company Harrasment Thread

OK. I'm bored again. So instead of some stupid pics (cause now I'm seeing the same one's over and over) let's do something a little different and harass some companies. See if anyone can get an answer back.

While me and Akuma were searching for new jobs, we got suckered into a training class to be door-to-door Kirby Vacuum salesmen. We would not have even gone to this but they told us that we would be learning appliance repair, so we went to check it out. They didn't tell us til we were in the class that we were going to be Kirby salesmen. Jerk offs.

Anyone not familiar with Kirby, check out the site at http://www.kirby.com/. This stupid vacuum does everything. It even has a built in massager, and IT BETTER AT $1850!

I was so pissed at this place, I wrote the following e-mail, but as of yet haven't received an answer.

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From: "Cat Poop" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: Questions not answered at the Demo
Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 05:02:58 -0500

I recently received the In-home demo but had further unanswered questions about your wonderful machine. I am very interested in purchasing your wonderful machine but need these questions answered. Your sales rep could not answer them.

1) Will Kirby hold me when I'm lonely?
2) Is Kirby On-line?
3) Will Kirby protect me when I'm getting beat up?
4) If I throw a party and decide to invite Kirby, is he one of those vacuums that can't handle his alcohol?
5) Is Kirby licensed to drive?
6) What religion is Kirby? I can't have a Jew Vacuum in my house.
7) How accurate are Kirby's predictions about the future?
8) If I am drafted into the Military, will Kirby go in my place?
9) Will Kirby attempt to make love to my wife while I'm not home?
10) Is Kirby registered to vote? If so, what party is he affiliated with?
11) If the earth is wiped out in a nuclear war, will Kirby attempt to rebuild society?
12) I am very concerned with saftey. If I stick Kirby up my ass, will he suck out my intestines?
13) How good is Kirby at getting rid of Forensic Evidence?
14) Will Kirby go to the movies with me when I can't find a date?
15) Can Crystal massage the scrizotch with the built in massager. She only demonstrated it on my back, and I want to see the ACTUAL uses of that particular attachment.

Thank you, and I look forward to using your wonderful machine.

Jason White

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By the way, Crystal was the trainer (and also the liar on the phone). This girl said f**k more times then my mom when she's all drunk on whiskey!
 
Can't forget the good old army. They might actually answer me.

And I was trying to act like a dumb redneck. I know about all the bad spelling.

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From: "Cat Poop" <[email protected]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: If I enlist right now.
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 16:24:42 -0500





Howdy!

Im reel keen about killing some iraq's! Theres old kasheem down at the 7-11 but ill get in trouble if i touch him. I wants to kill em the legal way!

If i enlist right now do i get to go to iraq? And i don't wanna be some pansy-ass computer geek or faggy nurse. I wants me an m-16 or a tank! Something big!

Aslo, is there a limit on the number of iraq's i can kill? I wants the full package that lets me kill as many as i want! Is it right that you actually pay me to do this? hell, most of my family would pay you to let them do this!

hell, just gets me a pickup and some guns and the keenan family will clean up that place for ya.

thanks
Jim Bob Keenan

One more thing. I know all about that don't ask, don't tell. So don't ask!
 
Damn... I forgot all about this thread. I never received an answer from kirby, but the good old US Army did send a reply. I forgot to post it, and since so much time has passed, I don't have it anymore.

I think it's time to revive this thread.

We have more insane members now... come join in!
 
Try complaining to Johnson and Johnson or Vaseline..
 
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