Bathroom Poetry

Videodrome

Videodrome

NGG Irregular
Joined
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
844
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
50
Location
In TV Land
Bathroom Poetry

Here I lie in stinky vapor, Because some jerk stole the toilet paper, Shall I lie, or shall I linger, Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

I came here To sit and think. But all I do Is shit and stink

Some come here to sit and think, Some come here to shit and stink, But I come here to scratch my balls, And read the bullshit on the walls...

Sign posted in a bathroom: We aim to please! You aim too! Please!

Seen above a urinal: Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal. We don't piss in your ashtrays!

On the inside of a toilet door: Patrons are requested to remain seated throughout the entire Performance.

Under a sign that said "Employees Must Wash Hands," someone scribbled: I waited and waited, but I finally washed them myself.

In the men's room at a Burger King restaurant: It takes the human body about 24 hours to turn good food into shit. It only takes Burger King 10 minutes.

Sign seen at a restaurant: The hands that clean these toilets also make your food...please aim properly.

Here I sit, I'm at a loss. Trying to shit out taco sauce. When it comes, I hope and pray, I don't blow my ass away.
 
Sonic X said:
Lmao!, That one 2nd up from the bottom is great! It's true anyways lol.
Click to expand...

Yeah I can appreciate these because I used to be a mall janitor. :sick:
 
Sonic X said:
Oh man, that had to suck.
Click to expand...


It was unpleasant but could have been worse. Big surprise, I worked the 3rd shift in the mall so I had the entire building to myself and sometimes one other cleanup person.

When the bathrooms were really bad I just sprayed soap everywhere and then hooked up a super hot high pressure hose and power washed the hell out of them. The bathrooms were always extra clean whenever I did that.

Also, the women's room is just as messy and gross as the men's room, often worse because of the tampons on the floor. Anyone who says women are somehow how naturally more neat and clean is a fool.
 
Then there is the poop modern art project on the side of the stall. I have a theory those are done by people with scary fecal fetishes. I think they play with their turds and then wipe it off on the wall. They do that in public restrooms so they don't have to clean up their psychotic mess. It's the only way I can think of to explain the horrid decorations I've seen in bathroom stalls. Just think about any Spam emails that promote the websites with golden showers or women being crapped on. Those are the people wiping crap on the bathroom wall.
(I apologize for the crude imagery in the above paragraph.)


There is also the explosive diahrea that coat's the bowl and underneath the seat(thank you Taco Bell).

Luckily since I didn't work days I didn't have to clean up the vomit accidents.
 
Last edited:
Videodrome got it right. Contrary to popular belief women's restrooms are almost always worse, especially in big places like malls. I've worked as a janitor before and women are nasty creatures. Smeared period blood & blood tissue can be just as bad if not worse than smeared poop. :sick: :sick: :sick:
 
Vicman said:
Videodrome got it right. Contrary to popular belief women's restrooms are almost always worse, especially in big places like malls. I've worked as a janitor before and women are nasty creatures. Smeared period blood & blood tissue can be just as bad if not worse than smeared poop. :sick: :sick: :sick:
Click to expand...

Yeah. I've found periods floating in toilets. What good timing that person must have had. :sick:

I didn't mess around with any kind of blood when cleaning either. I always wore gloves no matter what.
 
Being a janitor must suck but the powerwashing sounds fun..
 
Runescaper01 said:
Being a janitor must suck but the powerwashing sounds fun..
Click to expand...

Yeah it was quite effective but the trick was to keep the water away from the lights and power outlets. One time I got to close to some lights and they shorted out and and burntout.
 
LMFAO, this is so funny! Anyway last post videodrome, luckily you didn't cuz that wouldn't of been a great ride getting throwen, and then possibly killed. AHHH!
 
DeVaK said:
LMFAO, this is so funny! Anyway last post videodrome, luckily you didn't cuz that wouldn't of been a great ride getting throwen, and then possibly killed. AHHH!
Click to expand...

It's hard to say. Jolted maybe but I don't know if that current is strong enough to kill.

I've been grabbed house current before one time when I was a kid. If felt like my thumb was going to shoot off of my hand and jolted me really good but it didn't hurt me. I actually blew a fuse in the house. I was was riding a stationary exercise bike because I was at my grandma's house and bored. Somehow a power cord got snagged in the pedals or gears and broke. I reached down to find out if something broke on the bike and got blasted.

It has occured to me that I have a lot of awfully strange anecdotes to tell.
 
Whats even better is when someone WRITES something on the wall with their butt paint. Something like" Such-n-Such was here."
 
"You don't buy the drink here, you only rent it"

Assassins do it from behind.

"Here I sit broken-hearted,
tried to shit but only farted

Later on I took a chance,
tried to fart and shit my pants"

If you can read this you're not aiming in the right direction.

Be careful -- Your family's future is in your hands.
 
Ever go into a public stall and notice carved out holes on the sides? That's for ze gh3yboi's to oogle and admire yer trouser snake while you tinkle. Next time you see wandering eyes give 'em something to remember you by... A BAT TO THE FACE!!!
 
Vicman said:
Ever go into a public stall and notice carved out holes on the sides? That's for ze gh3yboi's to oogle and admire yer trouser snake while you tinkle. Next time you see wandering eyes give 'em something to remember you by... A BAT TO THE FACE!!!
Click to expand...


:shock: :confused: :sad: :bam:
 
shit.gif
I remember in grammer school fecal being on the ceiling....
wc.gif
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top