A Very Fucked Up Christmas

Videodrome

Videodrome

NGG Irregular
Joined
Sep 29, 2002
Messages
844
Reaction score
0
Points
0
Age
50
Location
In TV Land
A Very ****ed Up Christmas

Man these are really, really bad. :eek: :eek:


www.mymiserablechristmas.com


12/14/03) - Brad, Illinois, Age 26

For xmas one year for the whole year all i wanted was a computer. I begged, I did chores, I did anything, all i wanted was a computer. Closer and closer to xmas I got hints as to my hard work may pay off. Then, finally the big day arrived. There was a big box that i thought could possibly be my dreamed of computer. Frantically I ripped open the box to see if my aforementioned computer was here. I opened the box to find newspaper? WTF is this? I dive through the paper to find a CALCULATOR with a piece of masking tape with the words COMPUTER written on it. I was shocked, heartbroken, and well just pissed off. My mom had a good laugh, but I'll be the one getting to put her in a home later in life..

---------------------------------------------------------------

Bruce, England, Age 42

The TV antenna was loose on my roof and I decided to repair it myself. Being very safety conscious, I tied a rope to the bumper of my Land Rover, threw it over the roof, and climbed up the other side and tied it round my waist. While I was working on the roof my stupid bitch of wife decided to go Christmas shopping in my car. The cow dragged me over the apex of the roof onto the concrete driveway below. I'm now a sad bastard quadriplegic.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Don, Philadelphia, PA, Age 22

Five years ago, my mom got the bright idea that we should coat the tree from head to toe in shiny tinsel. What she didn't know was that when cats start to swallow tinsel, they can't regurgitate it--they have to finish swallowing all of it. We came downstairs that morning to find all three of our cats dead around the Christmas tree. They had also puked on our gifts, and one of them shat himself on the train set.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Mike, Canada, Age 21

My dad got drunk on rum and got in a fight with my mom. He got so pissed he threw the Christmas tree out the back door down the fire escape, then passed out in the middle of the floor. Mom went down and got the tree to set it back up. Dad came to and saw the tree. "I thought I threw that ****ing tree out" he said, and then he grabbed the tree and pitched it out the back door again.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan, Orlando, Age 13

Last Christmas (2000) my father gave me and my mother a call. I hadn't spoken to my father in about 6 years. He told us that he has moved to our area. My Christmas was looking very good, until we went to see my father at his new house we came to find that he had shot himself in the head. Christmas sux and life sux.
 
if those are true that really sucks. a couple are pretty funny but at the same time shitty.

Ryan, Orlando, Age 13

Last Christmas (2000) my father gave me and my mother a call. I hadn't spoken to my father in about 6 years. He told us that he has moved to our area. My Christmas was looking very good, until we went to see my father at his new house we came to find that he had shot himself in the head. Christmas sux and life sux.
Click to expand...

if this one is true i feel really bad for any 12 year old that would have to go through that. sad just thinking about it :(
 
Sonic X said:
The computer one is hilarious my mom stopped giving me shit when i was like 17.

They sound sort of false mainly because of the way they were typed out. IE: stupid bitch wife, im a bastard quadriplegic, cat shat on the train, christmas sux life sux, etc.
Click to expand...







LMAO! cat shat on the train!
 
Why is this funny to me? :freak:

"89. Better off (12/14/03) - Judy, London, Age 22

1998 was my worst Christmas ever when I woke up to the sound of my drunk ass dad raping my mother. Then he made sit round the tree to open are presents like nothing had happened. Two months after my mum shot herself. Lucky bitch."
 
Look what happened to Nastyman!:

"87. Knock, knock (12/14/03) - Aaron, Age 24

The day before Christmas, police knocked down the door to my apartment, I was arrested and the officers were very harsh with me and called me names like "scumbag". I broke two fingers and got a concussion. It turns out the guy in the apartment over me had participated in a child porn-internet-ring and the cops had failed to realise which apartment was the right one... to make matters worse the local newspaper ran the story of my arrest with name included before the mistake was discovered. Many people in the area still look at me as I'm some sort of freak."

BTW his nextdoor neighbor was really catp00p!
:sick:
 
OMG this one rocks so ****ing hard that I couldn't stop laughing!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

"82. We spent the holiday weeping - Gary, New Jersey, 34

Last year I lost a cat to kidney failure, a dog to spine cancer, my Grandmother to cancer (the all-over-the-body type), then 2 weeks before Christmas, my father died of a stroke, in my mother's arms. We spent the holiday weeping in a huddle. My sister's kids were screaming so much for more toys that we shoved them out the door to my ex-brother-in-law's early just for a semblance of peace. This year we sort of ignored it all."
 
Here's the fate that Ice Knights awaits: :evil:

"75. Dad shot mom - Darin, California, Age 17

When I was 13 my dad beat the **** out of me in a drunken rage on Christmas Eve, sending me into intensive care. When I got home three days later I found out my dad shot my mom four times on Christmas morning, killing her."
 
:rofl:

"74. Christmas smackdown - William, Texas, Age 35

Christmas Eve when I was 14, I knew things were headed down the shitter when my stepmother and dad started the day off with two 12 packs and their morning coffee. At the time we were to open our gifts, my father discovered there was no more beer and all the stores were closed. He began cussing my stepmother, who retaliated by telling him what a useless drunk he was. This then turned into a physical confrontation that resulted in my stepmother being drop-kicked into the Christmas tree and riding it to floor. She in turn tried to body-slam my dad, which knocked our only working TV out the window. My father, determined to get the bitch back, leaped with both feet right into our stereo system, which pissed my stepmother off big time because he broke the only Conway Twitty album. Finally the cops knocked on the door and settled everything down. Sometime I'll have to tell you about our Thanksgiving dinners, especially the one where my stepmother got her head shoved into the toilet."
 
:rofl:

lmao at basically every one
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top